Unproductive Season Review: Summer 2013

So it’s that time again. What happened to Spring? I have no clue. Ask me next year maybe. Since I’m lazy and stock footage is a wonderful thing, let’s post that same thing form last time before we go into it.

But first, a friendly disclaimer. If you’re a young child then you should get parent approval before proceeding forward. The internet is a terrible place and I don’t want you reading things that your parents will blame the internet on. If you’re a parent and have young children present then you should probably escort them out of the room and sit them down with some Pretty Cure or Kamen Rider. Heck, you should probably just ignore this article altogether and join them. We all know it’s better than anything I’ll be talking about in this article.

Unproductive Season Review has surprisingly returned. The words continue to be harsh and the scores should be taken as seriously as Johnny Yong Bosch voicing an action hero role. This season has sequels, long runners, and shorts including Shingeki no Kyojin, Senyuu 2, Servant x Service, Kiniro Mosiac, Teekyuu 2, Ro-Kyu-Bu! SS, and even the kitchen sink. Strangely enough I managed to pick out 11 shows to cover just like last time.

Please Gut Punch Nepnep Again: The Animation

Fact: The original planned picture was too much even for my tastes.

I can admit I haven’t touched the Nepnep games because I’ve heard they’re utter crap. And I have no intention of touching them until I can find a used copy of the second game (fuck the first) for under $15. When all those conditions are satisfied I might actually try to play it.

If nothing else, the anime probably gave me everything I would probably get in the game outside of cuter illustrations and what I hear to be a shitty battle system. So should I just quit while I’m ahead? Probably. Every week of the show was wondering how nobody had the mind enough to just punch Nepnep in the gut and make her behave like a normal human being. I think there was a plot too. But it was generally so overshadowed by mysteries like, “Where do the boobs come from?”, “Who decided Nepnep makes a good main character?”, “Where do the boobs go?”, and “Why not cucumbers?”.

I’m not sure what I expected out of Nepnep but it did very little outside of give me a few thrills from Nepgear and Vert ready to get it on. Otherwise, it was like watching Nyaruko except it tried to actually take itself seriously. And if it hadn’t it might have been a fun watch.

The Final Score: 1 very stiff eggplant out of a field of them

Shingeki no Big People

Fact: Animation can only do so much

There has to be that one show every year that falls under the fad radar. The one that everybody watches because it’s just THAT show. You know, that one. I remembered one of my friends had been reading Big People and said I would check out the animated version which led me reading it a bit prior. It was a confusing read to say the least but it didn’t seem horrible.

Seeing it in animated format reminded me much of what happened with Little Busters! two seasons ago. Not so much taking a great story and trampling on it but more so trying to cover things up with animation every so often to distract the audience. In the end, all I noticed was the animated version had more content about hinting like crazy at later reveals (huh, Little Busters didn’t do this either. Nope). It’s like animated versions just feel the need to hit me in the face and say “Look stupid, I’m going to foreshadow 100x over like a little bitch. LOOK. HEY. LISTEN.” But whatever. Big People. They kick down walls and are nobody’s bitch. Also I probably skipped over a ton in the manga which is why it might have been a better read. Somehow I managed to ignore a lot of things that made the series seem a lot worse than I actually perceived it.

If anything, Big People just proved to me that manga will always be better. In the end I didn’t even care to watch the animation and actually turned on the show every week to be noise as I did something else. Goodbye Big People, hopefully you’ll get lucky and your popularity is enough people will care to cosplay you sometime before you return again.

The Final Score: I bit one of my thumbs off trying to become a Big Person so I give it one thumb up

3 Minutes of Heroes: The Sequel

Fact: We lost budget and have to do it in two words this time.

Nothing changed.

The Final Score: (Better luck next time)

Our Modern Media: The Anime

Ad: Check out our radio show with new episodes every month!

Teekyuu continues to be Roots level “I’m laughing at the wrong thing” kind of humor. And I can’t get enough of it. To be honest I’ve said it enough times in other places but you can only watch Teekyuu on Nico. Roots kind of solved the problem of having to always be funny when other people can help you with the process.

Advertisement: Hey, we have a radio show? Click the radio tab and read all about it!

I probably will never hate watching Teekyuu. Watching 3 minutes of ads followed by two minutes of anime followed by 3 more minutes of ads feels great. It shouldn’t be funny. It shouldn’t even be tolerable. But it is. And somehow a show that manages to turn it’s own advertisements into a literal running joke is one in a million that is worth sacrificing the time every week to watch.

Advertisement: You know our radio is really great. I heard you can even request topics. Man. Awesome.

The Final Score: 40 advertisements viewed out of 40

Precure Holmes’ Fucked Up Neighborhood

Fact: Izu might have an incoming criminal record

I often say that Kidani has solved the formula to life. He manages to do whatever the fuck he wants and be successful. And for whatever reason he has a knack for turning out series that can remain interesting for really stupid reasons. He’s really just that guy that is able to attract the right people to his side. And I wish 100x over that I could do the same thing.

Oh yeah, Milky Holmes. Let’s see. In the live action segment we saw them eat food, talk about food, make food, and food. Actually, my original image showed food. Why wouldn’t I use that instead? Because the fact Izu needed to talk about her dream of whisking away little girls was amusing. But let’s be serious for a split second. Futari ha Milky Holmes was a great idea. Use the great chemistry the Milky cast has formed to make an entertaining live action paired with a mediocre anime segment. It all levels out to keep your attention every week.

The Final Score: 3/3 meals of the day satisfied

SERVICE!!

Fact: This is the Mahjong kind of ±0. Not the golf kind.

As a guy who called out Working!! as being a show where literally nothing happened you’d think I’d be smart enought to not to watch something by the same author. But I thought “Hey, maybe they might actually go through with a story this time.” So what happened?

When the show started I thought, “Hey, this is actually too boring from the start gate to be Working!!, maybe it builds up.” And then a few episodes later I realized that, no, it was just Working!! repackaged with new characters. There was still a romance not working on the side while there was some main romance as the central plot. A main romance where you start at 0, think it will go forward and then at the very end you are back at 0. But it’s alright. Let’s all laugh because of all the hi-jinks that happened along the way. Yes, let’s do that. Those wacky cats, it was a fun ride.

The Final Score: NO. NOPE. STILL 0.

Hello.

Fact: Thanks to this show, I actually like a Yukarin role.

You know I believe I can walk away from Kiniro Mosaic with the need to only remember two things.

1) Shinobu’s older sister
2) The musical

And that’s about it. Those two things were great. I’m not quite sure what happened otherwise but the musical was a pretty good jury rigged fairy tale that was SO FUCKING RANDOM I couldn’t help but enjoy it. And you know how I feel about random musical breakouts in the first place. Actually, if Kiniro Mosiac had just been a musical the entire way through it would have been indeed worthy of having Kiniro in it’s title. Because the first anime in this day and age that just decides to be a giant musical will be worth it’s weight in gold.

The Final Score: Arigatou…for those two things.

R2: The Mighty Gradeschoolers

Fact: Brofists were all the rage this Summer Season

In this season Coach Bom…Subaru must continue to teach his team the fundamentals of h…basketball. But they’re not alone as a ton of new members have joined the team with their own abilities and talents. And it becomes Subaru’s job to teach them that they need to work together as a team all while overcoming his own prior rival from his heydays.

All in all, SS was probably better than the first season. They actually played the sport of basketball and the only disturbing thing is how young kids are capable of such high level games.

I look forward to the 3rd season where we time skip to the future where Subaru is no longer the coach of the Mighty Gradeschoolers and they must deal with their new hardass coach. At that point Char..Tomoka will have her own issues and learn that rather than be the star of the team that she has to become their new leader in Subaru’s stead. Just remember guys, ducks fly together.

The Final Score: (Gradeschoolers are) The best.

Real Dolls of Rozen County

Fact: See? Brofists.

So one thing bothers me. If you were to hook up with the alternate universe version of your wife…is it cheating? Rozen Maiden’s brand new installment made me ask myself this.

In reality, this show was all about adorable sibling quarrels. And that’s about it. I never followed the Rozen Maiden manga after it changed publishers and I don’t really regret my decision. It was silly and not always in the good way. But it was adorable watching Shinku and Suigintou having cat fights.

And that was it. Rozen Maiden didn’t actually end. And that’s really all the new anime wrote.

The Final Score: Stay tuned for the next season 7 years from now for the score!

Love Kenkyuushitsu

Fact: Love Lab somehow had more dicks than most anime

Love Lab was a show I watched the first episode of with my friends in our hotel room at Anime Expo this summer. I honestly only decided we should try it because we were looking for something to throw up on the screen for the night. Did I expect what I got from Love Lab? Not at all.

Love Lab isn’t a huge stand out in terms of being anything special. It’s a very shenanigans filled anime that, at first, seems like it couldn’t possibly find a plot. But as the show progressed and added more and more elements, the aim of it seemed very clear. Which was a real breath of fresh air with series like Servant x Service where I expected a legitimate end.

Love Lab was a real dark horse for me this season and I’d really recommend it to anyone that wants a see a simple feel good story. It had humor, it had a stomach-able amount of drama, and it never ceased to be funny on the side. Love Lab was really the full package and I’d love to see more of it but I can imagine a sequel would be a hard in terms of coming up with another good plotline to follow.

The Final Score: 40 dollars I am willing to shell out for a Maki’s dad character CD

iKatsu

Fact: Aikatsu! will be getting a separate article

I could talk for days about Aikatsu! but I won’t…here.

I will say it had the best finale for anything I have seen in a long time. Is it that hard to write a great finale? If it is then that must mean the Aikatsu! writers should be staffed on every other show just for the finale.

The Final Score: 10/10. 100/100. Gold. 1st Place. Two thumbs up. Need I say more?

Summing it Up
Oh hey, I kind of took this serious again. I guess I’m bad at this unproductive thing.